Falling For You Hard!
by AisandDex
Summary: Ever fallen for someone REALLY hard? Ever sent them 749 emails? Then you can understand Michael. Maybe. Just you wait. Ais and Dexter's first collaboration; ToukoBashing a la mode! Unintentional MichalBashing! We're sorry!
1. Default Chapter

**Disclaimer-ness: We don't own Witch Hunter Robin, McDonalds, or whatever else; however, the fic is OURS! MWAhahahahaha... **

**A/N: Yes, this fic is co-written by Ais of Amon and Laundry DOOOoooOOOoooOOOm, and Princess Dexter of... well, what did you write, Dex? I know you wrote something, but my brain has just drawn a blank. I'm sorry!!!! I can officially tell you that she wrote The Great Spork Ninja Affair, though; a great and wondrous piece of literature! Well, I think so, anyways! :D So, yeah, we're writing this parody of insanity; after all every other damn pairing in the WHR universe has been done! Hrumph! –grumbles— So just don't take us seriously, and I think we'll be fine. Aisness has the word 'Ais' in front of it, and Dexness has the word 'Dex' in front of it. Oh yes! I, Ais, am independently calling this After The Factory, because Michael is moving around freely an' crap. Y'know. :D **

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**Ais**: Michael was happy. It was a beautiful warm spring day, he had the day off, he had nothing to do, he had a Big Mac Meal under one arm and a laptop under the other, his MP3 player was up full blast, and he was heading for the park.  
  
Why, he was practically skipping.  
  
In fact, he was! He surreptitiously skipped along happily (I mean, skipping along happily isn't exactly manly, now is it) and took a deep breath of the fresh spring air.  
  
And promptly sneezed. He had forgotten he was allergic to marigolds, and he had just passed a huge pot of them sitting on the sidewalk.  
  
The sneezing threw his happy rhythm of surreptitious skipping, and his glasses flew off, and he tripped over a tree root sticking up through the concrete sidewalk.  
  
Big Mac Meal: ZWINNNNGGGG....  
  
Laptop: ZWINNNGGGG....  
  
Michael gave a cry! Time stood still! There was his precious laptop flying through the air! It would DIE!  
  
He did the only natural thing. He took a giant football tackle running leap.  
  
Once again, time utilized its annoying habit of standing still.  
  
Michael hung in the air, the laptop hung in the air, the bag of McDonalds food hung in the air, the glasses hung in the air, the...  
  
Oops! And then suddenly Ais hit the pause button again and everybody fell back down.  
  
WHUMP!" went Michael. "I caught it! I did! And I didn't break any bones!"  
  
Something shifted underneath him. "Murphle gumble iffle GEEP GEEF GABBLE!" it said.  
  
Michael's eyes went wide, and he stared at his laptop. "Did you... did you speak?"  
  
Erph!" The Something pushed him hard and he flew backwards off It. He clutched the laptop and felt around for his tinted glasses and food.  
  
"Little..." The Something noted the sign saying 'Little Ears: Keep Your Language Clean' floating in the air. "... weirdo! What is wrong with you?"  
  
And then It disentangled itself from its various parcels and its hair, and we could see that it was indeed the famed Touko, daughter of the late, not- so-great Zaizen. Michael put on his glasses.  
  
He was immediately struck by the Great Beauty in front of him. Literally and figuratively. "Uh... er... I... just... sort of tripped... and I dropped my laptop... and..."  
  
**Dex**: "Then what was the deal with the running tackle?"  
  
Michael stared at her, aghast. "You...what? Didn't you hear me?" He remembered something about how she'd been in a sanitarium. Wait - that was just a fancy name for LOONY BIN. He felt a bit sad at the tragic waste of it all. She was, undeniably, a Great Beauty, but obviously deranged. "I dropped my laptop. I had to save it."  
  
She gave him a dirty look. "I really don't think it would have been damaged. It seems well protected."

He looked down at the computer. Well, he had wrapped it in bubble wrap - a security measure against droppage. Then he'd folded a couple of teatowels around it. And then slipped it in a pillowcase. And then tied it up with string. And then put a little card on it so it looked like a present, only the card read, "To Michael. With love from Michael." He cursed himself for being a) such a loser, b) such a clumsy loser and c) such an unimaginative loser.  
  
Here he was with this beautiful (Great-ly Beaut-iful) woman on his lap and he'd come across as an idiot. And now she knew he was unhealthy. He eyed the Big Mac meal with immediate hatred.  
  
Big Mac Meal: Oh.  
  
Michael: It's all your fault!  
  
Big Mac Meal: Sob  
  
Touko prodded him. "Hey, you! Mulletboy? Hello?" He returned his attention to her, blinking rapidly at her luminous beauty. "Were you just talking to your takeout?"  
  
He shook his head. "No. Nope. I most definitely WAS NOT. No."

She stared at him for a moment, then nodded. "Riiigggghhht." She started to get up. Michael clutched at her arm in a moment of impassioned panic.  
  
"I wasn't! Truly, I wasn't! Why would I talk to a Big Mac Meal?"  
  
Big Mac Meal: Well...  
  
Michael: SHUT UP!!!  
  
Big Mac Meal: Waah.  
  
Touko brushed his arm away with disgust. "Really Michael. You do remember that I dated the prince of self-delusion? I can tell when people are lying. You could have just admitted it. I talk to things too, you know."

She picked up her bags. "I was in the...asylum for a while. You meet all sorts of folks. Yes, you do." She smiled hazily into the distance and walked off, pausing to shout obsenities at the water fountain.  
  
Michael watched her go, heart thudding inside his chest. I love her, he thought, smiling as Touko frightened nearby children with her reindition of 'Singin' in the Rain'. I think I've found my soul mate. He picked up his laptop/present and skipped happily back to the office, unable to hide his newfound joy from anyone. Let them judge - Michael was in love.  
...........................................................  
**Ais**: "Er... Michael, what exactly are you doing?" Doujima asked.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"I said, what are you doing?  
  
"Oh, just cleaning off my glasses."  
  
"You've been shining that old foam coffee cup from Huck's for fifteen minutes."  
  
"I have?" He glanced down. "Oh, so I have. Well, well." Absently he began shining the cup again.  
  
Sakaki walked in. "Hi Doujima. Hi Michael... Michael?"  
  
Doujima looked mildly disturbed. "Sakaki, I think you might want to see this."  
  
"He's shining a foam coffee cup from Huck's?"  
  
"And he's been doing it for the past fifteen minutes."  
  
Sakaki crouched down in front of Michael. "Michael, can you hear me?"  
  
"...Siiiiingin' in the raiiinn... Oh hi, Haruto... just siiingin' in the raiiiin..."  
  
Sakaki glanced at Doujima. "Michael? How many fingers am I holding up?"  
  
"...what a glooorious feeeelin'... it sounds so much better when she sings it... I'm haaappy agaiiin..."  
  
Sakaki grabbed Michael under the arms. "C'mon Doujima, help me!"  
  
"What are we doing?"  
  
"We're taking him down to the hospital for a drug test."  
........................................................................  
Touko waltzed unsteadily over to her computer and turned it on, pulling out the chair. "...I love to be in America, I want to be in America... I just love that song! Wait! What the...?"

She flopped down in the chair and stared wide eyed at the picture that appeared when her computer booted up: It was Mulletboy, grinning broadly, holding a bunch of flowers in one hand and a sign in the other reading, "HI! I'M MICHAEL! I LOVE YOU!"  
  
Touko shrieked and tipped the chair over backwards in surprise and distress.  
..........................................................................  
**Dex**: "...and then I sent her an email that confessed the magnitude of my feelings." Sakaki rubbed his head. And then slapped himself. Ah. That was better.  
  
"You what? Michael, this is just weird. I mean its Touko! Zaizen's crazy daughter. Amon's psychotic ex. Robin's spooky old flatmate." He sighed. Michael had gone starry eyed. It was no use. He couldn't talk any sense into him. He got up. It was probably for the best that he let Michael experience heartbreak on his own. After all, this relationship was doomed from the start. They were two very different people from very different worlds. And countries.  
  
"I wonder if she knows any other musical numbers," he heard Michael ask himself. "I'm rather partial to 'Memory', myself."  
  
Shaking his head, Sakaki left his friend to his own devices.  
.................................................................  
Touko clawed her way back up to the desk, and trembling somewhat, sat on the chair. Michael.gif was now waving the flowers over his head and she was reminded of one of the dreams she had when at the sanitarium...  
  
FLASHBACK TO TOUKO'S DREAM  
  
A faceless man was standing before her. "Tooooooooouuuuuuuuukkkkkkkoooooooo," he said, coming closer, shadows fading at his approach. He was holding something, she looked, light fell upon them - they were flowers -  
  
Then he waved them over his head and she woke up  
  
END OF TOUKO'S DREAM  
  
Touko shivered. That one had always freaked her out. She understood the one about the dancing bears, and could even get some meaning from the Amon-in-a- ballgown one, but this dream she just couldn't work out.  
  
She clicked on the Mulletboy picture and deleted the file. She opened her inbox.  
  
"You have 749 new messages." In shock, she scrolled down the "FROM" list.  
  
They were all from one Michael Lee.  
................................................................  
**Ais**: "OOOOklahoma!" Michael sang, skipping down the hall. "OOOOKlahoma, where the wind blows freee..."  
  
"I still can't believe the drug test came up clean," Doujima muttered.  
  
"I still can't believe he's got some kind of weird crush on Touko!" Sakaki grumbled. "Didn't that phase you at all?"  
  
"One just has to learn to ignore these things..." Doujima sighed. "No, no, Michael, that's the... Michael! Stop!"

With a resounding CRASH! Michael ran into the window. "Well, well. How did that get there? HOW DO YOU SOLVE A PRO-BLEM LIKE MA-RI-A..."  
  
"Can't he sing something else?" Sakaki grumbled again, as he and Doujima each grabbed one of Michael's arms and dragged him, singing and skipping all the way, through the door.  
..........................................................................  
Touko opened one of the emails.

"Hi! I'm Michael, the American guy with the mullet! I love you!" She deleted it and opened the next one.  
  
"Hi! It's Michael again! Just wanted to make sure you knew I loved you!"

The next one read: "Hi! It's me, Michael! Did I surprise you? LOL :D"

And: "Hi! It's Michael! I like fish!" And: "Oh yeah! I like computers too!"

And: "And Cheetos!"

And: "And did I forget to mention I love you?"

And: "And I like funny names! Bob is a funny name!"  
  
Touko groaned and deleted out her entire inbox, perhaps the only sane thing she'd done in months. She didn't even feel like singing "Guinivere", her favorite song. She decided she might as well shut down her computer.  
  
The usual window came up. 'Would you like to: Shut down the computer? Restart the computer? Restart in MS-DOS mode?' As usual, she hit "Shut Down The Computer" and "OK."  
  
Immediately an image of Michael popped up. "BYEEEE..." it cried, waving its 'I Love You, Touko!' sign in three languages.  
  
Touko once again shrieked and nearly plummeted backwards, catching herself just in time.  
...........................................................  
**Dex**: "He looks so peaceful when he's sleeping," Doujima said wearily, as she and Sakaki dragged Michael's unconscious body back to his cupboard (ooops, I meant bedroom) at the STN-J. She paused to wipe the sweat from her forehead. For a skinny guy, Michael sure was heavy. Too heavy...

"Sakaki!" she cried, pushing Michael upright. "Help me!"

Together they pulled at his black shirt, the one that was mysteriously tucked in today. Ripping it from his waistband, they watched in horror as a multitude of disturbing items poured from under his clothes.

"EEP!" screamed Sakaki, jumping back in horror as the playbill to 'Evita' came skidding towards him. Doujima batted ineffectively at a dozen of those shiny loveheart balloons on sticks. A robodog had also been magically concealed under the hacker's t-shirt and wove between their legs, barking all the while.

Moving to get out of the manic robotic dog's way, Sakaki slipped on one of the cards accompanying the long stemmed roses and fell to the floor, pulling Doujima with him. They lay on the ground in a tangle of limbs, amidst all the crap. They looked up at Michael, still sleeping soundly. Standing up.

"He looks so peaceful when he's sleeping," Doujima said sourly. Sakaki could only agree.   
  
Touko stood under the shower (hey! Stop peeking!) hoping the warm spray would send her to sleep. Not while she was in the shower, mind you. Sometime after she'd gotten out, dried herself and put her nightgown on. Yeah. It wasn't going so well, however, since every time she closed her eyes she was haunted by the images of Mulletboy on her computer.

"Aaargh!" she screamed, opening her eyes. There was bashing on the wall.

"Keep it down in there, will ya?"

"Sorry, Mr. Hamiyo!" she called back, hanging her head under the water. This has got to stop, she told herself. She had to tell Michael to stop doing all this. It was freaking her out. To have come out of a nice 'stable' relationship with Amon only to be...attacked...by a young hacker with a mullet - it was more than her already vulnerable mind could handle. Yes, she had to tell him. Turning off the faucet, Touko got out of the shower. She smiled grimly. She had a plan. ...................................................................

**Ais A/N: Me and my black Godsmack T-shirt and large amounts of black kohl eyeliner and four-inch-heeled black boots say to review or else. –attempts threatening expression, breaks into laughter—Man, I look threatening anyways. My threatening expression just looks funny. Hope you enjoyed it! **

**Slainte, **

**Ais who is writing this ultra-pointless A/N, and Dex who is not **

(PS: It appears to have f'd my format, so I hope it looks okay. I had to redo it all. Eeps.)


	2. Stalker's Digest and BillyBob!

Isclaimerday: We only own… well, what do we own? –dumps out purse—I own enough to get a gumball from the gumball machine, the first volume of Alice 19th, an air conditioner, and this fic. That's all. No brand names, or WHR.

Ais A/N: Yes, you heard me right… Ais FINALLY GOT AIR CONDITIONING! So she's happy.

--throws sheets in washer, puts them on superwash, comes back-- Let's see where this goes… Not the sheets, the fic! The fic!

…………………………………...

Ais: My plan is foolproof! Touko thought. She reviewed the list she had created:

_Find out where Mulletboy lives. Create brilliant plan to sneak into said dwelling. Buy shaving cream, marshmallow fluff, peanut butter, and blackstrap molasses. Create secret concoction of last three ingredients. Buy Ninja mask/black T-shirt/black backpack. Put brilliant plan into action. _

Hey, don't look at us, this is Touko's plan.

She smiled grimly. "What do you think, Billy Bob?" she asked her hairdryer. "Want to come with me?"

"Oh, I don't know," Billy Bob said nervously. "I never do things write. See? I just spelled it wrong."

"Oh Billy Bob, remember when I was in therapy? The doctor told me not to lie to myself! So you shouldn't either! You're a great, strong, handsome, brilliant hairdryer, Billy Bob."

"But…"

"Billy Bob… I have a confession to make. I think… I think I love you."

"Really?"

"Yes! I swore to Chad that I would never love another, but…"

"I'm sure Chad would have just wanted you to be happy. He was a good washing machine."

Touko sniffed and took a big white handkerchief from her pocket. "Yes. Yes, he was."

………………………………….

"…'Cause everybody huuuuurrrrrttsss, everybody huuuuuurrrrrttts, ssooooometimmeeesss…" Michael sang from the spot on the floor where he was curled in a fetal position clutching his laptop, drawing all the notes out… and out… and out…and out of tune… and off key…

Miho groaned and held her head. Sakaki passed around a bottle of whiskey again. Doujima sat in shock as she had been doing the entire day, except when somebody held the whiskey bottle up to her mouth. Chief was sitting glued to his chair (figuratively), and Hattori seemed to have had a sudden burning desire to shine the outer gate.

"Cheer up, Michael," Miho said desperately. "Maybe she just hasn't checked her email yet."

"Everybody criiiieeeess… NO! SHE HATES ME! SHE'LL NEVER ANSWER! WHY IS LIFE SO CRUEL? …Sooometiiiimmmesss…"

"My God, my God, why hast thou abandoned me?" Miho wailed at the ceiling. Can you imagine Miho wailing? Neither can I. But it's an extreme situation.

"And we're all out of whiskey!" Sakaki wailed. Maybe that's why they wailed?

Michael finished his vague rendition of 'Everybody Hurts' and moved on to 'Summer of '69.'

"I got my first real six-string, down at the five-and-dime, played it till my fingers bled…" Michael paused. "That's not sad! I want a sad song!"

Chief stuck his head in the room and glared bloody murder. "Somebody from the office five buildings down just came over and asked you to stop!"

Michael began to bellow 'My Last Breath,' and you can just imagine how he butchered _that_.

.................................................

_Dex_: Touko whistled jauntily as she made her way to the public library. In a strange coincidence, she was whistling 'Everybody Hurts'. Jauntily.

You can imagine who she was hoping to hurt.

I don't think we've mentioned this before, but despite Touko's deep and abiding love for show tunes and musical numbers, she was completely and utterly tone deaf. This meant that Touko's jaunty whistle sounded somewhat like a frenzied battle between an asthmatic narwhal and the mournful croak of the green tree frog.

In other words, not pretty.

And so it was that when she entered the library an elderly couple passing her on the way out found their hearing aids affected by the obnoxious sound. The man dropped his walking stick in horror.

"Dang it Mary! It be them dang aliens again. Remember how they did broke my last dang hearing aid?"

Mary nodded, smiling. She was entirely deaf, and had been for some time, but liked to wear her hearing aid as she thought she looked cool. Young 'uns, these days. They don't know the meaning of cool, Mary thought, while her husband muttered to himself, sorting the broken pieces of his earpiece.

"Dang aliens!"

Touko looked around the library. Several impassioned pleas from the head librarian had finally convinced her to stop whistling (although she could still hardly contain her excitement over the upcoming plan...yet to be decided upon) and so she had to content herself with the occasional dance step. She was just too buoyed up by the thought of wreaking revenge upon Mulletboy, even though he hadn't really done anything. It's not like he could help falling in love with her, after all. Billy Bob had assured her that she was irresistible. She remembered their conversation:

Touko gave the appliance a seductive look. "You find me attractive, don't you, Billy Bob?" The hairdryer nodded. (A difficult task for a hairdryer, to be sure, but not impossible).

"Touko," he replied, his breath warm on her face, "I find you irresistible."

She smiled and macarenaed over to one of the Internet terminals. It was time to find out just where it was that Michael Lee liked to call home.

Doujima watched Michael surreptitiously over the top of her magazine. The hacker had stopped tormenting them with off key renditions of depressing songs (calling it quits after the complete version of 'I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)', singing both the Meatloaf and Random Woman parts; as well as replacing 'won't do that' with 'will do that too coz I love you so much'), and was now slouched over his keyboard, looking dejected. She sighed.

Sakaki came up beside her. "Psst," he whispered loudly.

She looked at him, irritated. "Sakaki, the purpose of whispering is to keep what is being said _quiet_. You've negated the point by psst-ing at me loudly. What do you want?"

He prodded at her magazine. "Not only is this upside down-" she hurriedly turned it over "-but I think you've grabbed one of Michael's by mistake." Frowning, she glanced at the cover.

Stalker's Digest. June edition.

They shuddered. Doujima peered curiously at the cover stories. "Know Your Victim," she read aloud. "Take our handy quiz - Do you know them as well as you think you do?!" Sakaki leaned over her shoulder.

"Behind the Bars - real life stories. The Who's Who of the Stalker World."

Doujima threw the magazine away in disgust, prompting Karasuma - who had been passed out at her desk, to mutter loudly,

"But I don't wanna get up!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Ais_: Touko laughed suddenly at her computer terminal and spontaneously began to sing and unrecognizable version of "I Want You Bad." This prompted even the old guy with the long beard who sat around reading "How To Be A Philosopher In Ten Days" all day to eject himself with all due expediency through the double-doors of this austere literary… um… damn… --gets out thesaurus-- nothing in here either… dwelling?

The reason for Touko's sudden outburst of song and laughter was this: She had suddenly discovered that Michael lived right inside the STN-J building. In an old janitor's closet. With a large vent across the hall from it.

No, I don't know where she found this out. Just as the librarian was picking up the phone to call the police, Touko fox-trotted out to her car. Scary thought, Touko driving. Scary, but true.

So, after she fox-trotted out to her car, like we said, she unlocked it, opened the door, put the key in the ignition, rolled the engine… Oops. Heh.

So by the usual methods used when driving a car, Touko got back to her apartment and turned on her computer, ignoring the Mulletboy waving flowers, which was now accompanied by 'Unchained Melody.'

She had only 623 emails this time, and one of them was from the email provider, screaming "You're getting close to your 3MB limit! You may not be receiving all your messages!"

Touko yawned and opened up the first Michael message:

"Hi! I'm Michael! I just wanted to make sure you're okay, since you don't seem to have answered yet and I sent the last message a whole half hour ago!"

Touko stretched, cracking her knuckles, and took three deep breaths. Then she hit 'reply' and went into Ultimate Fangirl Mode, despite the fact she was a 25-year-old businesswoman who just happened to be terminally insane.

People All Over The Universe: --inexplicable SHUDDER!—

Reader-person, you don't happen to have high blood pressure, heart conditions, allergies, tendentious, a weak immune system, a… You don't? Well, okay then. Here's what she wrote:

"MiChAeL (!!!!):

Like, OMGOMGOMG, you're MICHEAL? I'm, like, SOOOOOO happy! Whenever I was dating Amon (jerk, LOL) I SOOOOOO wanted to meet you, you're like, SOOOOOO cute! Like, do you want to go out sometime?

TTYL,

ToUkO

(Ps: I aM lIkE, SoOoOoOoO sOrRy I dIdN't GeT bAcK sOoNeR, I wAs WaAaAaAaAyYyYyYyY tOo HaPpY tO tHiNk sTrAiGhT!!!!!!)

Gag. But it was all part of Touko's fabulous plan. She hit the 'Send' button, and pushed back her chair, going back to As-Normal-As-I-Ever-Get mode, meaning she got up, giggling to herself, and waltzed over singing 'Jesus Christ: Superstar' to discuss the war in Iraq with the TV remote. Coincidentally, the TV remote's name was Michaela, and she was very informed on world politics.

…………………………………..

Michael was taking the Stalker Quiz from his latest edition of Stalker's Digest.

"What color ink do they typically write with?" he read, and marked down 'Blue.' "Which one of these colors is most prevalent in their wardrobe?" He put a check mark by 'camel.'

"Murphle snurgle," muttered Miho in her sleep, and promptly fell off her chair.

"User… Michael… Lee… has new mail," the laptop said in its very clear, Navi-like voice.

Immediately the Stalker's Digest hit Miho in the head, the pen bounced off the ceiling and hit a printer, the chair slid across the floor and into Sakaki, and Doujima said "oof" as she was unceremoniously removed from in front of the printer and onto poor Miho.

Ten seconds later, Michael was doing something strange resembling a seizure.

"Michael! Are you okay?" Doujima yelled above Michael's strange screams.

"Yes!"

"What are you doing?" she cried.

"A Happydance, accompanied by the famed Disney tune, Davy Crockett!"

All stared in disbelief, with the exception of Miho, who muttered something about harps and chocolate chips and rolled over on her stomach, still somehow asleep.

……………………………………

Ais A/N: Hookie-dookie, people... (hee hee hee I love saying that! It's, like, SOOOOO out of character, and, like…. –mysterious hand gags Ais--) Er, yeah, as I was saying, I hope I'm in time to rescue all the review responses, I just realized they're in my sent folder and I hope it didn't empty… --squeaks— So if I forgot anybody, I apologize eternally, on my best friend Hyde. Sorry Hyde!

…………………………………….

Rynn Abhorsen: Hi Cuervo! –snorks to self-- But like, OMG! I am SOOO not a geek! Just 'cause I spend all my time in front of a computer or at the video store staring longingly at anime doesn't mean I'm a geek! I'm serious here! –looks around—Er… aren't I? :D Okay, so I am a geek, and I, Ais, am insane. But it's a good kind of insane. The kind where you can spout the definition for pneumoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis off the top of your head. Yes, that is a real word. :D _Dex_: Yay Void! Nice to see you. And I AM a geek. Geek pride all the way. On a side note, is your name derived from the 'Abhorsen' in the Garth Nix novels? If so, WOO! Love those books.

TitianWren: Hmm… you know, I just might pull Attachment to Inanimate Objects into here somehow. What say you, Dex? _Dex_: Amen.

Did we not make her insane enough? Uh-oh. Don't say that. We'll have her pulling bananas out of her ears and doing the Macarena next… hmm… that's an idea…

LoneIceWolf: Dude! Would you cheat on somebody like Amon with somebody like Michael? Well, I wouldn't, as it stands. :D _Dex_: Well she _is_ insane. That would be the only possible explanation for her considering any other man when she had Amon. Dude.

Yamiyumetenshi: Hi Yamayu! Ooo! –writes it down—Touko's… wrong… nose. Sounds like a chapter of A&L to me! What was I saying?

Oh! You mean your mom never said "Little pitchers have big ears!" Which doesn't really make that much sense in this context, but it means "little kids might be listening, shut yo' big fat nastay mouth!" or words to that effect. Although 'little pitchers have big ears' usually means 'stupid little kid, stop eavesdropping!'

We would post it on Harry's more obviously, but we're afraid of Kala. :D But I suppose I could… see you in Precious Illusions! _Dex_: Nice to see you, yami! Yeah, we've kept this one pretty clean. And I've never liked Touko, for the record. She is a _be-yatch._ And sob she got to have Amon. Grr.

Selenium: Well, Ais' precious laptop Luisne is about like that. Well, she's wrapped up in towels whenever she goes anywhere, because Ais has a tendency to knock things over and bang around a lot. Thus, we want our expensive laptop to be safe. :D

We can safely assume you're a MichaelFan then? We're AmonFans. And Ais is also a SakakiFan. :D _Dex_: _I don't know how to love him, what to do, how to move him_...whoops, now everyone knows I like Jesus Christ Superstar. Watch out for more musical lurve in future chapters. I don't have a laptop, but I do know how to appreciate expensive things. Thus the tea towels. And I have much love for Michael, but not in conjunction with Robin. Sorry guys. Oh and Selenium? Perhaps you'd like to send us a copy of that AmonxBallgown pic. Sounds cool!

St Earns: First reviewer! –hands out piece of Mississippi Mud Cake Ais's grandma made for dinner—

Michael: Outside world? We not speak same language here. What 'outside world?'

Ais: Stop faking the accent.

Michael: But we're not speaking the same language.

Ais: Sh!

Hmm… you mean like this black hole in the middle of Ais's computer room? Just don't get too close to it and everything will be fine. :P

--gives Dex double thumbs-up—Dude! We rock! But… the Unholy Alliance sounds like a rock band. Or maybe a motorcycle gang? _Dex_: I dunno. But I really like the sound of it. Must use it sometime...rubs hands together, plotting Mwahahaha! And 'unlikely pairing'? I know not what you mean.

Misora: Misora, we looooooovve yoooooooou, nearly as much as we looooooooove the moooooooon. Mwahahaha! And now I will go back to 'apparent' silence. But before I do, thanks! We're glad to amuse you. --apparent silence-- _Ais_: Ais is scared. Ais is talking in third person because the blissed-out grin on Dex's face scares her. But Ais is over here cracking up anyways. And a creepy psychic Goth girl rolling around on the floor with laughter is a scary thing.   
**Emma**: :P It's just some little phase he's goin' through... ignore him. He'll come back, we promise. _Dex_: I wrote some too! _**Ais**_: Yeah, Dex wrote all the funny stuffs!

………………………………………..

Ais A/N: Well, that was the Aisling Niamh Ultra-Long Review Responses of DOOOOOM. With some help from Dex, of course, sent back to Earth via interdimensional tele-transporter from da moooooon while drinking soda pop!

Sometimes it's better if you just don't ask.


End file.
